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Blog #3
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Page 2
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Page 2 of 2 I have just been inspired to write this blog, as it may sound depressing a bit but for me it’s a step forward at least. Lately I have been having financial problems, trying to support myself through the weeks with bits and bobs. I took some time out to be alone on the beach for a while to work things out in my mind and gain some clarity on what I’m doing or trying to do. One of the abilities I have always had is insight, the ability to see ‘through’ things, like looking through a pain of glass, while people only look AT the glass. The ability to see what others can’t doesn’t always have its advantages, in the short run anyway. While I have been sitting on the beach staring into the air I noticed one day I could see waves in the air, like ripples everywhere I look. Once I noticed this for the first time it was hard not to see it again, it’s constantly there now. It happened while I was staring through the air, not at it, for example you know those 3D pictures hidden behind a pattern, you stare through it and this picture pops out at you. Anyway the only way I can describe it is it looks like looking down at a crystal clear swimming pool gleaming in the sunlight, or millions of shiny flies swimming round on the surface of water.
I have learnt lately no matter how bad life seems, fighting against it is pointless as I have found out in my past. Life is like swimming down a stream, if you fight against you end up delaying the inevitable and it tires you out, then you just flow down the stream anyway whether you want to or not, so why not swim with it? Then understand you are the stream; you are the wave of the stream. I have learnt just to go with the flow without fear or worry of what will happen to me, whatever happens needs to happen due to evolution of consciousness. The system is fuelled by fear therefore it attacks anything it fears, for example any threat that could bring it down. This information I hold is what I have come to realise throughout my life and people wonder why I find it so easy to believe, I will tell you one thing, it was the hardest thing to do in my life, to go with what I feel instead of hiding due to the fear of what other people would think of me. I know there are a lot of people hiding their information due to fear, and I didn’t want to end up like that. The System has tried to have its way with me, and in that sense I mean the people that are slaves to the system and do exactly what the system wants them to do.
I notice when people attack me or what I say, its not because I’m wrong, its because the system fears it and anyone under the influence of the system just reacts without thinking. When I look into peoples eyes while they attack me, I see automatic reaction, like an instinct to defend what gives them comfort; I see lost and confused awareness in people’s eyes. I often see peoples thoughts aren’t their own, like they are robots, being programmed to think and how to feel. I often used to react without thinking so I know what its like, when you see or hear something ‘out of the boundaries’ of your norms, you tend to fight against it because it’s not a part of your reality, and it would break down the walls of your beliefs and everything you have learnt in your life.
The walls of my beliefs crumbled a while ago, mainly because I stopped fighting it, trying to hold onto what I knew at the time and when I gave in, all became clear and it was amazing. Have you often questioned yourself and what you do, how you feel and why you feel it? If you observe it its very interesting, interesting how you automatically react and why you do it. Is it really you doing this? Or is it fear taking over, possession is the result of all your fear, all your hatred taking control of you because you fight against it instead of realising it’s a part of you and there really is no such thing as good or bad, it’s only our individual perception that determines what’s good and bad. Take a child for example, it knows no good or bad, it’s pure and it just is. It only learns what’s good or bad due to what its bought up to believe. And in this life the system that educates us is a system based on fear. The difference between living in fear and living in love is incredible because I have lived in both. Many people think I did this website to change people’s beliefs and how they live, but this is coming from me, I wrote this website to get everything in my head out on paper, or computer. It’s to express how I feel and what I have learnt, if you don’t believe anything on this site, then it don’t bother me on bit, if you do then I’m glad you can relate to it. I just want to be me and express how I feel on my own website, I don’t have a problem with what people think to be what’s real or not because we all create our own individual realities while being in a collective reality, everyone eventually will see passed illusions its only a matter of time.
While I was walking the other day I was thinking, I could just walk in front of this lorry that’s coming and just end it all, end this game called life, in an instant. But by the way it wasn’t a depressive thought, it was a relief thought, kind of like when you have been dying to go for a shit for about two days and you fight to let it go until you cant take no longer, you release then think what the fuss was about. Bad example I know but I would like to make it clear that fear of death is an animal instinct and not a human one; the ancient people never feared death because they understood it, and they lived their lives in coexistence with it, like they were both one. The fear of death has been grown into us over time. I used to fear death so much while I was younger because I didn’t know what happened after death. But Fate as it happens taught me there was nothing to fear because death is an illusion, and why is it an illusion? Because life is an illusion too! It’s the only way that makes sense. If you believed life was real, then you would have to believe death was real as well, when you realise consciousness is eternal, both illusions melt. Most people realise this when they take natural substances that stimulate the sections in the brain we never use, the substances break down the walls and beliefs in your mind so you can see beyond the veils of the illusions we keep ourselves in.
Run out of things to say now, have fun and thanks for reading this. Nathan
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